it washes

the rain falls.
leaving trails of mascera on my face.
my tears invisible with the drops of rain.
it washes the pain away.
i promised no more tears, not for you, not anymore.
Head held high, i promised to be brave this time.
no more looking back, those things have past.
Forget the reasons for all the scars.
Near to you im healing, and its not taking that long.

for so long i was what they wanted me to be.

making everyone else love was what they wanted to see.

selling my soul to keep the beat.

of a faltering heart that is so weak.

I am.

i am here by myself, beacuse I left everyone and everything behind.
with no intent on coming back.
But I learned the more I run, the faster it cathes up with me.
It doesnt matter where I go it will always follow me.
I blinded myself from the pain that I felt. I deliberately turned off the lights.
Hoping to let go of my mind.
But now i realized I need the pain that I once felt inside.
So once again I turn on the light.
The pain I felt is still there different but yet the same.
I can bear it now with lessons I have learned.
The light bulb is dimming and I know when it burns out,
the pain will vanish as I let it go.
I dont regret leaving, but the hole you filled burns around the edges every night.
Your words of wisdom, like a broken record, play in my head.
Every night it never seems to fade.

Youre not alone. It will pass. You have to let it go. Dont think about it. You have to learn.

so you were right, you never lied.
I just had to swallow my pride, so I laid there broken.
My tears covering the tile floor.
I laid it down, I cant carry it any more.
I realized you never left me, i just ignored.
You pleading arms trying to hold me and my frantic heat breaking your hold.