So here I am.
And I have realized, that I was wrong.
The things that I have done have led up to this moment.
The moment that I admit I was mistaken and ask for forgiveness.

In this moment I see my mistakes
and now I bare the shame that comes with them.
I never realized that though I was running from my troubles
I was also running from you.

The further I got, the less I could see your light.
The darker it got, the more I pushed forward.
The more I pushed forward, the more I got lost.

When I could no longer find my way, the material things of this world caught my attention.
The more I looked the more I wanted.
The more I wanted the more I got.
The more I got the more I needed.

Now that I see, what this has done.
I dont look, I dont want, I dont get and I dont need.
The reflection that stares at me, is not who I want to be.
My reflection that stares at me is not who I was meant to be.

Every touch I felt was empty.
Every bottle I drank made a bigger hole.
Everything that came in close proximity was toxic.

Now that I know how it feels to be free.
Now that I know how it feels to be unconcerned.
Now that I know how it feels to be wanted.
Now that I know how it feels to be filled.

I RUN TO YOU.

The freedom is like a cage.
The unconcern is pointless.
The wanting is hurtful.
The fullness is nausiating.

None of these things have meaning.
None of these things are worth having.
They cant exist without you.

The freedom has no boundry.
Therefore you find addictions, which have you caged.
The unconcern has no point when you dont care, and you have nothing to be concerned about.
The wanting hurts, because its empty, never fulfilling your need.
The fullness is nausiating because you are filled with useless junk, that eventually fades.

The only thing that makes these things worth having is your love.
Because of your love I dont have any addictions giving me freedom.
I am unconcerned about what people think, knowing that I have you.
I am wanted by you for all eternity.
I am fulfilled with something that will endure all eternity.

Now I know what it feels like to have these things, but the most important thing that I know
is that none of them are worth anything without your love.
Im sorry for running away, instead of running to you.
Im sorry for being selfish and staying lost.
Im sorry for turning everything I ever worked for into nothing.
And thank you for never leaving my side.